Reminiscing of times worth revisiting
A person I once knew well was removed from this world earlier this year.
I hadn’t seen him in a very long time. But the moment I found out about the passing of this man I felt a deep sadness. My mind started to drift back to all those times spent in our primary school aged youth. The times we would play football, tennis or soccer, and with the competitive nature that we both possessed, would fight about whatever either of us perceived to be unfair, grizzle for a while, then recommence being best buds once more.
There were countless times where we would run around either of our parents houses while roller skating (I couldn’t roller skate, so I would ride my bike), shooting cap guns, squirting water pistols or hurling water balloons. And again during most of these times one of us would get a soaking and more than likely have a little sook before shortly laughing hysterically and enjoying the rest of our time together before heading inside for some well indulged Nintendo.
Where, oh where, where did this time go? Everyday before this one can be summed up in mere moments. Where during those times, life felt, steady, steady enough to live in like time was on our side.
A beautiful eulogy was being read before everybody at the funeral. This eulogy transported me to all those times mentioned before. I had not relived anything from my past so vividly like I had at this moment for the longest of times. To be transported to those summer evenings playing outside, those autumn weekends spent in the bush running amok and enjoying life as children.
Who was to know where we would be 20 years down the track. 20 years in another time where all child like wonders had vanished and all perceptions had changed immeasurably. A time where you had left this place just shy of 30. And I at your funeral where so many family and friends had gathered to see your beautiful soul off. Where I am standing there apart of the world that keeps its orbit and life goes on. With or without each and every one of us, life goes on.
Life is full of unexpected turns and unfortunately those turns can sometimes lead us to the end of our rope. This man had a trying adult life under a cloud of uncertainty. I can relate to how he must have felt a lot of the time. But through his final decision, the outcome alone is the reason I choose to go on through this life. To learn day in day out things that I didn’t know previously excite me! And to forever see what surprise is around the corner waiting for me.
Hugging it out
Revisiting people from my past was the silver lining of such a saddening event. Seeing people that were once my everyday life as a child and now all grown up with their families of their own. Speaking to most in ways that were so nonchalant. Giving hugs out like they were only stored and reserved for once a year bouts, I should do it more often. Hugging, and hugging with feeling is so uplifting, even in times of despair.
It took me aback how well receiving everybody was to one another at the tea. Everybody is in as good a spirits as they can be in a bleak situation such as this. The respect everybody shows to one another, the genuine care throughout the room with every hand shake and hug, every touch of the shoulder and pull up of a seat for another. If only our mannerisms were like this every single day. The unconditional love that emanates, accompanied with genuine selflessness that doesn’t only get called upon at the scene of a tragedy but at the rise and fall of day eternally.
Hold each other more (where and when appropriate). Express your love and/or appreciation to anybody who may need it more than most. Try to finish a conversation the way you would be content with if you never, ever, saw that person again.
Those are just a few things I will try to keep in mind as I go forward.
Look after yourself, look after others.
Life is stressful, dear. That’s why they say “rest is peace.”David Mazzucchelli
Self awareness is progression