Owning your trait

First impressions

First impressions can be extremely influential events!

First impressions hold the ability to linger in the person you meets mind for the longest of times. Whether good or bad, the experience will likely stay in the persons mind until you’ve spent a significant amount of time with them after the initial encounter. If you’ve found yourself having an absolute horrid introduction with a new work colleague, you could be in for a period of time treading the waters. You’ll win them over most probably, but it will take some time and some genuine self to get there.

If you started your first encounter with a work colleague like a pro, you’d need to make quite a few mistakes very consistently to give the colleague reason to believe that maybe you aren’t so flash.

It seems a little unfair doesn’t it? You come into a scenario with the best intentions but for one reason or another, you say the wrong thing, miss time an ice breaking joke or give off the wrong type of body language. And now your interlocuter has shaped you up and penciled you into a category of whatever pasts have made it to their life thus far.

Were you too loud, too outspoken? Were you too quiet, too reserved?

As you can see, these first impressions can take you in multiple directions right from the get go.


If you are an extroverted person, you’ll find that the odds of you making an impact on another’s perception of you very high! You will be on the louder side of things both in sound and in body language. Your demeanor will have people loving or hating you a lot of the time. And this polarizing trait will be with you throughout the rest of your days.

If you are an introverted person you can still have an impact on people, only, it’ll likely be more subtle. You won’t set a room on fire with your presence. You may even have people thinking you are shy or rude when all you are doing is being your usual default self. You’ll most likely take 10 interactions with someone before they can finally have a stamp on what you may be about.

Both of these traits are quite okay. We all fit into one of these 2 categories more or less. And as I’ve recently learned, it’s better to know which one you hail from so you can start to understand why certain situations present themselves. Or on the other end of the spectrum, never come. And why people are the way they are around you for the most part.

Side note: Everybody is going to have their good and bad days. So regardless of your personality type, people may not be very receptive towards you. This is okay.

I am what I am

A realization of mine in recent times has been that I am an extrovert. I mean, most people that know me are probably already aware of this. But I always thought of myself as an introvert with a dash of extrovert whenever I’m stimulated by a situation that sparks my tinder into a blazing inferno. And when I think of it…it really doesn’t take much to set me off into a passion filled (and I’m sure at times, obnoxiously energetic) dialogue.

I started to notice that people either ignored me or would at times go out of their way to say hello to me. I would wonder what the difference was as I try my best to be approachable to many. It would bug me to no end when certain people wouldn’t acknowledge me when I’d try to say hello or at least acknowledge them. And yet others were so pleasant on approach whether they were people I saw often or very rarely.

It was in a recent sitting down with a friend when he said to me that I was a polarizing personality. I sat back for a few moments to soak that analysis in.

INNER VOICE: Wow! You know what…you are a polarizing dude. You really rub some people the wrong way with your personality. And in turn, you really attract and hold some peoples attention when talking to them, and sometimes, when you’re not even speaking to them. Holy shit man, how have you never thought of this?!

I don’t think until that point in time I’d been told that that was my disposition in life. I was an extrovert. Not a bad person. Just a being that expressed my feelings a little easier than most without ever really realizing my demeanor mostly put people on the back or front foot. This person’s observation of me was an observation I needed to hear.

Since this discussion I really started to look at myself and others quite differently. I’ve started to avoid certain people because I know there will never be any common ground to stand on between us. And I’ve started to back my personality in with a little more confidence. After all, when I think about it… I am at my best when I am expressing myself. It makes me happy and creates an aura of energy around me for other people to feed off of.


There will be quite a lot of people you will come across in your life that will simply not click with you. And this is okay. Who has the time to connect with every single human being on this planet anyway?

Instead, embrace the people whom energy matches or compliments yours. Energy is real, don’t deny it when you can feel it present itself!

Look after yourself.

Nick Donnellan

Self awareness is progression


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