Take a moment before you act

I’m sure we’ve all been on the receiving end of one, just as we’ve all probably contributed to one as well. Or even been the source of a rumour…what do you feel when you cast your mind back to one of these times? Is it an ickiness, a subtle feeling of regret or are you not really fazed at all?

Rumours are a form of story telling but involve real people with real lives with their real problems of their own to deal with let alone a rumour on top of that to possibly have to rectify. They can sometimes come in forms of flattery, but more often than not in my own experiences (internally and externally) come in the form of degrading to the victims identity that they are trying to live.

Before you consider starting a rumour ask yourself these following things:

  • Why am I about to start this false story of another?
  • Would this person do the same to me?
  • How would I feel if the roles were reversed but you had no idea who and where this rumour originated?
  • Are you going to be able to live with yourself knowing you’ve rendered another person devoid of rebuttal?
  • This victims reputation could take an undeserved dive.
  • Is it malice, jealousy or a need to feel relevant that is causing you to start this story?
  • Could you possibly just let this urge to tell a tall tale go?

Malice & Jealousy

Malice and jealousy can go hand in hand with malice spawning from jealousy. We can get jealous for reasons of someone having a quality of personality that we desire ourselves. Someone who is in a position in life higher than where we currently sit. Or someone that we believe holds angst towards us and therefor need to be better than in some form or another. Any of these reasons can distort our reasoning which justifies our need to create or even jump aboard a rumour of our chosen victim.

The desire to feel relevant is a need I’d say most of us hold close to us. To be endeared makes our souls tick. But there are right and wrong ways to earn relevance.

Some people will use any information they receive from another to blurt out at the next possible chance it will give themselves temporary exposure. Sometimes these tales are fair game but sometimes they are obviously stories best left between few. But at the expense of another, some us will blurt another’s privacy for that short lived relevance.

It might be time to address the reason you are blurting other people’s confides if you are one that indulges in that need to be relevant a little to often.

Look after yourself. Look after each other.

Nick Donnellan

Self awareness is progression

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