Love in itself pt.3

We’re all a little strange

Throughout my days spent on this spinning sphere I have known one thing about myself from a fairly early age…I’m not like anybody I know.

Well, duhhh, everybody is different in so many ways!

Okay, so I already knew that. But what I mean to articulate is that I am so different to everybody around me in the way that I’m interested in a range of contrasting hobbies. I can never seem to pick a lane when it comes to being whole heartedly interested in a field. I love to workout and constantly and steadily build my aerobic capacity as well as get stronger in the fundamental lifts simultaneously. I love listening to ambient electronic music when I’m writing. I love jazz, Cuban, classical, classic rock when I’m doing things around the house. I love alt rock, electronic dance, house, metal, numetal, hard rock when I’m working out. I also love complete silence on some occasions. When I speak to people I never seem to find anyone that can really drift outside of a few genres in their day to day life, that bums me. I love being in the city but I hate crowded places. I love the country and having nobody near me but I’m hardly a country lad in any sense. Do you find yourself interested in contrasting hobbies? It is a frustrating trait!

I’ve digressed sizeably and will now bring you back to where I’m going with this. We are all strange people on the inside. We all have our own narratives that have been building since the day we were born. We have our likes and dislikes as well as our opinions towards people, objects and situations. Our moods for how those people, objects and situations affect us will differ extremely depending on how we’ve grown to deal with them all over the years.

Every single one of us has weird habits and interests according to someone else. The trick in life, I’m finding, is to find people that either tolerate your weirdness or actually enjoy it. It’s not easy to find the people that fit these categories. But it is a good start in realising that you are one weird human being and that will never change. Embrace your weird and seek out that weird in another person that you think you could spend a lifetime with.

Love is more than an emotion

When you’ve found that someone that you want to spend the rest of your days with, there will be a lot of challenges ahead. The kind of challenges that come after the honeymoon period that is the beginning of a relationship. After all the sparks and excitement of the first several months or so have settled into a now steady state of everyday life with one another, this is where real love begins to have it’s time…

We have all these overwhelming emotions at the beginning of a relationship that very much cloud our judgments at almost every turn. (It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you are with a compatible person, and for the point of this discussion we will be focusing on the idea of being with a compatible lover.) But it’s there after that early stage where we begin to see the cracks in our lover. The crack that absolutely all of us have!

But what do we do with these cracks in our partners character? Do we constantly inform them that they need to work on those flaws? Do we nurture them each time the cracks undoubtly show? We are at our best as pair of lovers when we both know each others flaws and embrace them. Embrace them in the way that we are aware of when and how these moments will appear and then how we can support our lover without belittling or cretiquing them.

Love isn’t just an emotion. Love is to live with another being throughout all their flaws and knowing how to communicate all the difficult feelings we may be feeling along the way without the fear of judgement or loss. Be present with them as much as possible and be willing to take the slack on the days your lover may not be at their best. If you’ve chosen the right person, they will surely do the same for you.

Connection has no bounds

Stories of love. There are an abundance of them that have flooded our bookshelves and now cinemas throughout the years. If there is one thing to take from them as a collective, it is that true connections are not limited to normalcy.

Connection between a man 10+ years a women’s senior, roles reversed, a pair of adolescents, a pig and a spider or a fox and a hound. All of these could be romantic in nature or purely platonic. Nether the less, they have all had incredible connections through stories told over the years. No doubt each story told has been drawn from real life experiences lived by the writer that created in a more exuberant image…most of the time.

We are all searching for the most deepest of connections with at least one person in our lives. Connections in activities we enjoy are fairly common place and that is how a lot of friendships are made. But connections on deeper levels where you can feel another’s emotions when they tell you they are not travelling so well, or when they tell you that their feelings for you are all that’s going through their mind at this present time.

A connection can’t always be more than that at times though. Sometimes a connection has obstacles in the way depending on the people involved and their beliefs and/or statuses. Age between two people that have a genuine connection, marriage, current aspirations in life and physical locations. These are all obstacles that have stopped many genuine connections flourishing and leaving many people leading unhappy lives for the rest of their days. All because they have decided on settling on what they have now, not taking the chance for a deeper level in life.

Lesson learned: If you find a connection, give it a chance.

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb, burn with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's okay I know nothing's wrong... nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Ji yo you got light in your eyes
And you're standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love

-Talking Heads

Immature love says : ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’

Erich Fromm

Nick Donnellan

Self awareness is progression

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