It’s said that the path to happiness or completeness is in the ability to forgive. To forgive another no matter the wrong doing they have done to us. To forgive but not forget would be the wise way of creating a shift in that burden that resides in us for holding that grudge for so long.
But how can we find that ability to forgive when we have been wronged in a way that we believe is so undeserving. We only had the best of intentions but got completely blindsided by an act, whether long winding or explicitly short, that embarrassed our identity of who we thought we were. Demoralized by another with what it felt like, no remorse. No explanation was given and we were left to contemplate the essence of who we are as a human being.
7 stages of grief
Some of us might be faced with a situation that actually puts us through the 7 stages of grief because of the loss we have felt. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a loss of a loved ones life to go through this 7 part journey;
These 7 stages can take as long as they need to take to run their complete course. Here is a link describing the 7 stages through an athlete’s disappointed view in depth.
I’ve found that once I get to acceptance I can begin to find that place of forgiveness. Or at least a place where I can now contemplate forgiving. Clarity is usually upon me and I can now consider if the wrong doing to me was just.
Throughout the 7 stages it is quite hard to see things from the outside in. The situation past can be rather distorted and very hard to make healthy judgments on.
Letting that energy go
It’s once I can find stillness in my thoughts without judgement that I can begin to sift through the logicality of everything that transpired before. Contemplate what part I had to play in the situation without judging myself too critically, yet too delicately either.
From here it’s up to us if we can find that energy in ourselves to hold a grudge. Or conserve our energy for a free flowing future of everything that is to come and find our forgiveness.
We all have different stories and ultimately time is what will get us to our forgiveness more than anything else. The 7 stages may take a somewhat rushed cycle and leave a bit of anger or denial in the system. But eventually, even if it takes years, we’ll wake one day seeing clarity that was once not there. We’ll see the forgiveness and feel the pent up energy release from us, leaving a new level of gratitude in the unforgivens place.
20/20 vision comes with hindsight if you can keep your emotions in check.
It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.Tyler Perry
Self awareness is progression