To feel accepted, loved and content with life. are these not the things we all strive to have in abundance in our very souls?
To have even one of these desires met I believe it is best to start giving. Not giving in an objective sense, but to give yourself to others in multiple ways. When we give ourselves to others we are showing them that they are worth your while and therefor, hopefully, worth their own while.
How often can you think of scenarios where you gave yourself to another over the past week?
The ways in which we can give
There are multiple ways of how we can give ourselves to others. It doesn’t mean that we have to give physical presents to people every single day. But in ways that will let people in your life know that you are always there to be counted on when times get tough.
Below is a list of ways I feel we can give ourselves to others;
- Empathetic listening. By listening to another’s story and actually putting yourself in their shoes. Understanding where they are coming from even though the situation and reactions involved are not who you are. Listen to them, understand them.
- Asking not ‘do you need help?’ But rather ‘how can I help?’ Asking the latter gives the situation an opened ended reply rather than a more than likely closed ended reply of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ if asking the former.
- Keeping to a promise. By keeping to a promise you prove to your loved one, friend or acquaintance that they can indeed count on you. In turn they feel that they can open up to you with things that may be very hard to open up about to others in their lives. By keeping a promise and coming through on it you are showing your character to the recipient and others that know your doings.
- Love. I’m going to use Stephen R. Covey’s philosophy that smacked me so hard with the non negotiable way of it: ‘so love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?’ So with this, love isn’t only that nauseas or butterfly in stomach kind of feelings. It is to GIVE yourself regardless of the way you feel.
By implementing any of these methods we can really begin to build a long lasting and deep relationship with any person in our lives.
To give and give of yourself completely as much as you can without over extending yourself and burning out. You will eventually find yourself on the receiving end of another giver. Your motive for giving yourself to others shouldn’t be to receive all the pats on the back accompanied by gifts. It should be that you WANT to care for another and you WANT to help others grow in their own way.
So inevitably, there will be times of receiving and that is a wonderful thing! When we receive any of the actions from the list above we feel warm inside. We feel loved, on different levels nonetheless. The love from another following through on a promise or sitting there and listening and understanding our current situation makes us feel very comforted. It can help us see things in ourselves we might not have seen before. The person sitting across from you listening and understanding every word you are saying to then give their input might just change the way you have gone about things prior.
Be a gracious recipient as much as you would like someone to be who is on the other end of your giving.
All that you have
Be a giver with 100% of what you have. The person you are tending to will feel your emotional dedication and will respond accordingly. Be genuine in your ability to give yourself and hopefully everything else will take care of itself.
Every time we give a part of ourselves to another we are lightening the burden of another’s in some way or form. You don’t know who really needs it or when, but it’s sure as hell a good option to give regardless of if we know who needs it or not!
Why not have the reputation of being selfless and caring? You’re only helping yourself grow as a person every time you put another’s needs before your own.
Listen, understand, love and give.
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.Kahlil Gibran
Self awareness is progression